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HOCKEY HUM UR
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PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4
Fictitious NHL Lines and Line-Ups
Los Angeles Kings forward Luc Robitaille was drilled into the net during a scramble in a Vancouver Canucks-Kings game. Instinctively, he quickly turned and drilled the first player he saw with a cross- check. Unfortunately, it was teammate Dave Taylor. As Taylor groggily rose to his feet, seeking revenge, Robitaille, in a state of panic, pointed to nearby Vancouver defenceman Doug Lidster. "It was him," Robitaille told Taylor, who immediately lunged at Lidster. Robitaille waited nearly two years before revealing what had really happened.
Giving the red light a workout was never a concern while Hardy Astrom was in goal for Don Cherry's Colorado Rockies in 1979-80. "First practice in Colorado, we were working on breakout drills. I shoot the puck at Hardy from the far blue line, and it goes right through his legs. 'Fluke,' I figure, so I shoot another one. Right through his legs again. 'Next drill,' I said. Actually, Hardy was a nice guy, he just had a weakness with pucks."
Overheard:
Female Heckler to Ref: "If you were my husband, you gray-haired bum, I'd give you poison."
Ref (Loudly): "Lady, if I was your husband, I'd take it."
Rob Murray wasn't making his NHL debut when Winnipeg was playing in Detroit on November 19, 1992, but no one bothered to inform Jets teammate Teemu Selanne. When Murray scored, Selanne thinking it was Murray's first NHL goal, fished the puck out of the net and presented it to him. "Teemu skated up and said, 'Congratulations,'" Murray remembered. "I said 'Teemu, I have scored in this league before.'" "Well, I'm not taking the puck back to the referee," answered Selanne.
Joe Hall, an early NHL tough guy with the Montreal Canadians acted instinctively when a whistle sounded during a 1918 game between Montreal and Ottawa. He quickly assumed a spot in the penalty box. "What did you give him a penalty for?" demanded Canadiens captain Newsy Lalonde of referee Marsh. When the ref claimed that he had called no infraction, Lalonde asked the same question of the judge of play. Again, his question was greeted with a shrug, so Lalonde told Hall to get out of the box. "Sorry about that Newsy," Hall said as he sheepishly returned to his position on the Canadiens defense. "Force of habit, I guess."
The following are condensed excerpts from Bob Duff's "The Odd and the Unusual" in the bestseller Total Hockey: The Official Encyclopedia of the National Hockey League (Andrews McMeel Publishing).
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